Pins and needles

J and I went to see Julie, my acupuncturist, on Sunday. While I don't love the process (the needles don't bother me so much as feeling like I can't move), I'm a fan of Julie and the results she has achieved for other clients.

Since we are pushing up the timeline of pursuing treatment, I am going to start seeing Julie again on a weekly basis. I convinced J to come along as well to see if she could help with his morphology numbers.

Julie's take on J's results was that he should have a 3rd SA done to confirm them. She found the good count and high motility a strange contrast with the zero morphology. And while she didn't say she couldn't help the morph at all, she thinks it would take a very long time (longer than the time between now and whatever treatment we pursue this fall). She has had good results with improving count and motility over a few months, but not so much with morphology.

So, it's up to J to schedule yet another SA. Meanwhile I started my treatments in an attempt to achieve "balance" in my body. Back on the table, needles in every limb and on my belly and head, I actually did start to relax for a change.

Good fortune

We are in a holding pattern until my surgery in late September. At first I was excited to have a TTC break. I was getting so stressed out by everything and it was nice to not feel the pressure of trying to make everything work. But now, just a few weeks later, I’m feeling impatient and wanting things to move more quickly.

So, I’m trying to take a step back, take a deep breath, and enjoy the moment. Just because I don’t have a baby in my life yet doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy what I do have to the fullest. And so, here is my short list of things I am thankful for:

1) My general health. Aside from my reproductive issues, I am very healthy.
2) My SO. I am so very lucky to have him as a partner.
3) My dog. She makes me smile every day.
4) My family and friends.
5) My job. It may not be perfect, but I am employed and it’s a pretty good gig.
6) Where I live. Northern California is one of the best places on earth.
7) Good food.
8) Yoga and dance.
9) My house and yard.
10) Good literature and movies.

I am very, very fortunate, indeed. If we are lucky, J and I will add a child to our family sometime in the next few years. And we will have been lucky to have this time together, just us and the dog. Once we have a child, life will never be the same. And life, as it is now, is excellent. So instead of focusing so much on what I want, I am going to do my best to cherish this time and appreciate all that I do have.

No fancy title

After playing phone tag with the RE for a bit over a week, I finally got to speak with her by phone.

We talked about our options with the repeat SA results and now that J has added me to his insurance plan that will cover IUI/IVF (up to a limit). Basically, I have two choices.

1) Go back off the pill and try IUI
2) Have a laparoscopy to assess/treat my left tube, remove as much endo as possible, and determine best course of action. Follow with IUI or IVF.

J and I agree that going through more periods without any additional treatment is not an option for me. It's just too painful. So now I wait for the scheduler to call - the RE said I will need one week off work and can't travel for two weeks, which may be tricky with my work travel this fall. And I hate to give up five more days of my time off for surgery (as opposed to real vacation), but truly, for the chance to have a baby, it is more than worth it.